Its been some time when I actually wrote something on Pentropy(actually I felt I must mention that it’s time when I wrote something meaningful, but I felt that my definition on ‘meaningful’ would be deceptive and would create a hell ambiguity, so I decided to cut the crap, ahh shhh dk!)
It’s been a strange period of time for me, I tried working hard for a change but to my surprise it works in the other direction! My productivity falls if I direct all my energies in one direction. May be not doing anything else but work makes my mind think that I am doing nothing else but work and hence I don’t try to do even work and that concludes in no results and a lot of surprise(Oh my god, what did I just say?). It’s getting complex I know, but yea when you have not written anything for some time you obviously tend to produce random gabble and not a distinctive and defined speech.
While I write or plan to write, I spontaneously try to think a lot of things. On paper they could sound (read) like this:-
- Hmm, let’s write something!
- Oh, yea it’s been so much time I decided to write on music, what hell, Music is my spiritual and mental nourishment and how come I can’t think of anything to write on music! Yea, I will write on my best 5 songs of all time, 5, ahhh a small number….ok 10!
- oh wow, I just love Khamaj(a song by Paki band Fuzon) its such a drug, I must write and tell the world that destroy all cocaine, its the best drug!noo, not music, nobody will like reading a story on a song or an album or a band…they all have their tastes in music..i have mine..ahh…may be i will..or..let me wait another day!
- I must write something yaar, what the hell is this mental block, sobs sobs!
- I wrote ‘can u imagine‘, people liked it (perhaps, at least they commented not realizing that I didn’t put any thoughts on that!) so let me write some random shit yet again and make people think (ahh, 4 of them, 5 of them!)
- Oh, if i don’t find any other thing I will post some of my lost poem stuff (which I feel is great, is mine, and is not so understandable for anyone but me and a few more people!)
- Forget it, i am not writing it today! no one will read it anyways! Let me just go and have a hot chocolate fudge, I will love my life.
I am too confused in my writings as I am in my life. But the fact is do I want this confusion to end, I don’t know! May be I can just live the rest of my life fiddling with this confusion, fondling with my brain, flaunting the fake imaginations and hiding my garish reality, our mediocrity and the helplessness! Let’s live on!
By the way, my dear friend Rahul Bapat took this amazing pic which I loved and wanted to show on my blog, cheers Rahul, teach me some photography, i think someone said that life can be decoded by photographs(if no one did, I am saying it!). Ahh..enough, seems I am lost!
Hope to write a sane post next time. Amen!